Three major lessons I have learnt in my single season

Ten years ago, I thought I would be married by now. (Let us all laugh together, I know you thought so too if you aren’t married of course… hahaha!) Our parents would get married in their late teens and early twenties and so anyone in their twenties seemed to have their lives put together and all figured out. Aside from marriage, I had ideas and ambitions that I thought would come to pass by now. I had everything planned out. I knew exactly what I wanted to accomplish, but I have barely seen the fullness of it all. In your twenties, life seems to be fast-paced and social media has a way of making you feel inferior to your peers. Your friends are getting married and having families, others are already driving their own cars, others are always traveling outside the country yet your life is the normal daily routine. I am aware of the fake lives that are portrayed on social media, but if you are not careful, you could be sucked into the world of feeling inferior and completely unaccomplished. Realizing all this, I decided to go easy on myself. I believe that we are all learning on the job. These are the things that have been such a great revelation to me in this season.

  1. Jesus is the only satisfaction

There was a time I was completely scared of being single and alone. I mean if I was not in a relationship, I was in a ‘situationship’ (a thing with a guy). If I was not having a crush on someone, I was definitely flirting with someone else. At the time, I had a false sense of identity. Having a boyfriend validated my beauty and worth, and so without one, I felt like I was not good or pretty enough. It made me feel wanted and acceptable among my peers as well as in society. In fact, when one relationship did not work, it was easier to be in a rebound relationship than dealing with the pain of moving on from the emotional entanglement. I never knew it at the time, but I was so empty within; something I have realized recently. I loved the thrill of chatting till late at night with some random guy. I liked being told ‘sweet-nothings’. I spent so much of time in this pattern, precious time that I could have grown as a person and even grown so deep in my relationship with God. However, I wouldn’t change a single thing if I could go back in time simply because I have learned some valuable lessons in the process. That vicious relationship cycle tampered with my self-worth and identity. However, now that I am so concerned and interested in the things of God, I have been SINGLED OUT BY HIM in this single season. It’s so beautiful! Jesus wants to be the one filling up our voids so that we do not try to fill them up with something or someone else. I realized that I felt and seemed completely okay before giving myself FULLY to Jesus. I never realized how much I needed him until I fully surrendered everything. I wrote a post about being in isolation with God here. (You should check it out if you haven’t already). 🙂

2. Leave your burdens at the altar

I have become fully convinced that most marriage problems emanate from the fact that the people involved never dealt with some of their baggage before getting married. A cheating spouse was probably involved in fornication and has never repented or been delivered from it. A physically or emotionally abusive spouse probably felt oppressed in their childhood and only let it out through exerting harm on their beloved. A lying spouse probably never understood the value of good communication, honoring commitments and being truthful. A spouse who mismanages funds or does not carry out their responsibilities never understood the value of money. It is completely unfair to get married to someone, or even be in a relationship with someone when you have not completely healed from certain issues and pain. It leaves your significant other in a state of constantly validating you and this can be so draining and frustrating. In your single season, make it a priority to get rid of any weight that is a set back in your life. It is in this season that hurtful moments from my past have come up one by one, and I have been laying them all at Jesus’ feet as they come up. Let Psalm 55:22 be your guiding verse in relation to this;

Cast [your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

3. Become a better you

I love how comfortable, confident and content I have been in myself during this season. Years ago, I was a young girl who did not really know herself and I could easily be manipulated and taken advantage of. I love how far I have come and how much I have grown.. People, relationships, money, friendships, education among many other things do not define me, my relationship with God does. In this single season, take time and develop in character, confidence, personality, relationships with people as well as with God. Travel whenever you can, seize every opportunity and enter any doors God has opened up without hesitation. My life currently involves school, work, and church among many other things. It is normally very tiring to be all over the place doing all kinds of different things. However, I know a time will come when I will be at home, raising godly children. One day I will be old and retired growing in marriage with the husband of my youth. And as every season comes with its own needs and requirements, it is important to be the best version of yourself in every single one of them. Grow in your prayer life, read your Bible more, pray for your future family and future self. Find your passion and run after it. But always remember the fact that your dreams and passions should never take the place of God in your heart and life.

I know there are many lessons that fall within this season, but these are the three main ones that have really stood out for me. I am completely relaxed and waiting patiently for the appointed time. Find peace in your single season. If you are not happy and content in this season, chances are you will still be very unhappy even after marriage. I have decided to take my time and not to be anxious about all this. Besides, you will literally have your spouse’s company till the day you die! 😀

What are you learning in your single season? If married, what lessons can you share with us? I would really like to hear your thoughts in the comments below. 🙂

I wish you nothing but happiness and rest in this season. Remember that seasons come and go, but the Word and faithfulness of God remain constant all through.

I occasionally model bridal gowns for Liana Bridal House, if you or your friend’s wedding is coming up, be sure to check out their page. Here are a few of their designs… 🙂

 

 

Studio: Metz Photolab

Photographer: Scott Gideons

Bridal gowns: Liana Bridal House

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read. 🙂

With love,

Mumbua

28 Comments

Join the discussion and tell us your opinion.

Paulreply
February 05 at 11:02 PM

Woooow……Mumbua…. I tried to skip this article but I couldn’t…… It’s Hot😗…… I can see you are growing…And I thank God….. Heheee… Welcome to our world…. School, work and Church…..For real… I can’t stop….but to read your articles, they attract like a magnet …..I have read every bit of it…..Kudos!! Seek Jesus More…. He will guide you… All in all, learn to appreciate others even as we appreciate your articles…. Keep Up!!!!
Love you Too ☺

Sarah Kimeureply
February 06 at 06:02 AM
– In reply to: Paul

Thank you so much Paul. I highly appreciate the fact that you took the time to read my post. Barikiwa kabisa!

Miss Kighendareply
February 06 at 08:02 AM

This is amazing…. Learning to be content and to trust in Jesus to do things I cannot do on my own

Sarah Kimeureply
February 06 at 08:02 PM
– In reply to: Miss Kighenda

This is so beautiful. We should completely be happy in every way. It’s a beautiful thing! Thank you so much for reading.

Kogireply
February 06 at 08:02 AM

I’m thoroughly blessed by this article. Indeed this season is a blessing. Growing in God and self. Thank you Mumbua.

Sarah Kimeureply
February 06 at 08:02 PM
– In reply to: Kogi

And I am thoroughly blessed by the fact that you took the time to read. Thank you so much for going the extra mile to comment as well. Barikiwa sana Martin!

Cossreply
February 06 at 09:02 AM

This is amazing! God bless you!

Sarah Kimeureply
February 06 at 08:02 PM
– In reply to: Coss

Thank you so much for reading Cosmas. God bless you too abundantly.

Anna kimeureply
February 06 at 10:02 AM

Wow Mumbua. This kind of talk should be coming from an older sibling. I am really proud and boastful that you are my sister and that I am really learning do much from you. Mungu akubariki Sana.

Sarah Kimeureply
February 06 at 08:02 PM
– In reply to: Anna kimeu

Awwww….

I am extremely blessed to have you as a sister. And I miss you so much. Thank you for reading and even commenting. God bless you too. Nakupenda sana.

Mercy Gitarireply
February 06 at 10:02 AM

wow! This is lovely. I am encouraged to read all the others. Thank you God for blessed friends who blesses my heart

Sarah Kimeureply
February 06 at 08:02 PM
– In reply to: Mercy Gitari

This is so kind of you. Asante sana Mercy. This means too much. Go for it with all the other posts. Hehe! Barikiwa!

Pharaoh chirchirreply
February 06 at 05:02 PM

Waow, this is really amazing Mumbua. Keep up. Your story is true, guess we are sailing on the same boat, only that i am behind, just a matter of time, I will grow spiritually and i believe I will be up to the bar. Keep up motivating us, I feel enlightened

Sarah Kimeureply
February 06 at 08:02 PM
– In reply to: Pharaoh chirchir

Thank you so much for reading Pharaoh. Indeed we are growing and becoming better everyday. That should continue to be our prayer. Barikiwa tena sana!

Mariareply
February 06 at 08:02 PM

Something beautiful happens when you find a home in God’s arms ☺
Such an amazing article!

Betty Mwangireply
February 09 at 01:02 AM

“It is in this season that hurtful moments from my past have come up one by one,..” haha story of my life in this season. Thank you for sharing your lessons in this season my babe….encourages me and many others i know. Baraka!

Sarah Kimeureply
February 09 at 11:02 AM
– In reply to: Betty Mwangi

Thank you so much for commenting and even reading this post. Yes, let us go through the pruning and then we shall continue growing. God bless you!!

Kneemoorereply
February 09 at 11:02 PM

This was a good read Mumbua gifted in writing and wisdom. May God’s light shine on your path more n more. Be blessed.

Sarah Kimeureply
February 10 at 09:02 AM
– In reply to: Kneemoore

Thank you so much for taking the time to read Joy, I highly appreciate it. Blessings upon blessings for you as well.

Habel Mwashigadireply
February 17 at 09:02 AM

Interestingly this week at Bible Study, the topic of discussion was about faith. Like absolute Faith in God and what that really encompasses. Putting your trust in God and his timeline might be really challenging considering that we are in constant fight with our human selves but the reward at the end in the arms of the Father is pure bliss! Keep doing you, Mumbua. Lovely to see what you are upto! 🙂

Sarah Kimeureply
February 19 at 07:02 PM
– In reply to: Habel Mwashigadi

This is really uplifting Habel. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the post and even comment. It means so much. Our full trust should be entirely on him. Thank you for pointing this out.

Kulola Mwangekareply
March 07 at 07:03 AM

Heeeey Mumbua love that you use your African names 😁 I didn’t know you are Sarah,anyways I loved the article it’s simply explains some of the longings of a single girl😉.Keep I’m writing plus vulnerability paved the way for freedom for others.❤

Kulola Mwangekareply
March 07 at 07:03 AM

Heeeey Mumbua love that you use your African names 😁 I didn’t know you are Sarah,anyways I loved the article it’s simply explains some of the longings of a single girl😉.I love the Liana bridal dresses i ahould chack them out.Keep I’m writing plus vulnerability paved the way for freedom for others.❤

Sarah Kimeureply
March 24 at 08:03 PM
– In reply to: Kulola Mwangeka

Awwww.. thank you so much for taking the time to read it dearie. I highly appreciate the fact that you took the time 🙂

Gideonreply
May 06 at 04:05 AM

This is an article most singles need to read so they can understand their identity is in Christ, in the current society its easy to get the sense that you’ve got to explain yourself if you still single past your mid twenties. But I like how this espouses that singlehood is a season that doesn’t have to be endured but enjoyed with Christ at the heart of course. Wonderful article.

Sarah Kimeureply
May 08 at 09:05 PM
– In reply to: Gideon

Thank you for taking the time to read Gideon. It really means a lot.

Oscarreply
June 07 at 03:06 PM

This is powerful ministry from your walk with God. You’re so open, a rare commodity in our social circles today. You’ve made alive the part of the text that expects us to give our bodies as living sacrifices because it is from your life that others can potentially get life. As we read about your life, ours are made better. I’m particularly strengthened by that part: “…other things do not define you, only your walk with God does” paraphrased. I thank the Lord for you.

Sarah Kimeureply
June 09 at 07:06 PM
– In reply to: Oscar

Thank you for taking the time to read Oscar. This truly means a lot. My heart is full.

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