Dating in the Christian circles has proved to be quite unpredictable, especially in this millennial generation. Our parents made it seem so straight forward when they got married in their early twenties and managed to stay strong in their marriages despite all the challenges they faced. We live in the days of increased knowledge and information. Most churches have played a crucial role in coming up with forums where single ladies and men can have conversations revolving around dating, courtship, and marriage. Don’t even get me started on the countless bloggers and vloggers who have dedicated their content to help young people find their way through dating successfully and eventually getting married. We have more structure, tools, and knowledge when it comes to doing relationships the Christian way. The right information is out there, so where might we be going wrong?
God was so intentional in his pursuit of our hearts. He never sent Jesus with a hesitant spirit of withholding him from us because he knew that our lives depended on it. God knew that Jesus would be the ultimate sacrifice who would take away the sins of the world; he did not hesitate to present us with the gift of his son. Jesus’ relationship with the Church has been likened to that of a man and his bride. I liken the intensity of God’s decision with that of a godly man pursuing a godly woman- with purpose, focus, and intentionality. It always amazes me that out of all the relationships in the world, he chose the one between married couples to depict his intense love for the church, His bride!
As we embark on having open conversations regarding Christian dating; here are a couple of things to note:
1. God does not want us to be alone: Gen 2:18 KJV states;
And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
I tend to think that Adam did not even know that he needed someone who looked like him. He went about his business in the garden and had such a deep relationship with God there. It was at this moment that God brought out all the animals to Adam for him to name, yet none could take the place of the woman he was planning to prepare for him. God is wise! He cares for us, and he knows what we desire even before we know it ourselves. This should settle all anxiety and doubts when it comes to waiting upon God for the right man or woman from Him. He knows that it is not good for us to be alone, and he knows that we trust him for Godly spouses. He always honors his word.
2. God needs us to be at rest: Gen 2: 21 KJV states;
And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh…
When I was younger, I used to wish that I could just fall into a long deep sleep so that I could wake up already successful, married with children, and being a respectable member of society. I thought how easy it would be to avoid the process of working hard to be successful, evading the whole dating scene, and just having children without experiencing pregnancy and childbirth. Haha! If only, right? But it pays to be at rest when waiting upon the Lord. God’s perfect design was having the man rest as he created the help-meet suitable for him. The man was at rest, completely free from any distraction that would cause him to interfere with God’s process of preparing/creating this woman.
God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam so that he would work out something beautiful in his life. Adam had no clue what God was doing, but God was working things out for him. I tend to think if he would have been awake, he would have felt the pain of the rib being taken away and not trusted God’s plan. Moreover, he would have been interfering with God’s way; by sharing his own opinions about how Eve should be created. May God cause us all to be in a ‘deep sleep’ (rest) so that he could work things out for us without our interference and worries.
3. God brought the woman to the man. Gen 2:22 states;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man.
We live in a liberal culture, where some women have been encouraged to pursue men into romantic relationships. I bet we have all seen photos of some women going down on one knee to ask their male partners to marry them. Such scenarios have awakened mixed reactions among different people based on their cultures and understanding. I think God brought the woman to the man so that the man could recognize what God had been doing all along. Adam acknowledged that the woman was indeed suitable for him, calling her bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. God had presented his plan to the man, but Adam had a choice to accept and pursue that which God had presented to him. It was never the other way around!
I believe these three points paint a clear picture of what God thinks about relationships and marriage. God’s plan is that he definitely has the best for us and wants us to be happy! As this is only Part 1, I look forward to having more deep conversations with you.
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