I felt lost! I took a break from blogging, not because I wanted to, but because I had to. I fear vulnerability. In fact, I hate it! Vulnerability always meant being undermined, easily taken advantage of and hurt. I had a perfect little comfortable world, where everything was all figured out and I knew for sure that my life was heading in a certain direction. My life made sense, and I could picture almost every aspect. These past few months, however, have been the deep unraveling and debunking of ideologies and beliefs I held so dear. It has been a painful pruning process. A process that rendered me somewhat unfit to share God’s heart on this platform because I needed to heal and grow.
I am pretty sure the content of this blog is clear as soon as you open it. When I started blogging, people told me that I needed to be consistent. To have content that would draw more people and develop my niche. I received a great amount of advice on how to ‘market’ and make it more visible. Which were, and still are, very good things to consider. It seemed pretty viable at the time! It made a lot of sense to work hard to ‘retain’ my readers. But what value would it be without having a deep relationship with God? I never write a post without spending time with God. It’s so much easier writing a post with the Holy Spirit because I get to write about things I never even thought of. The fact is, I’d rather have one or two people transformed and touched through this blog than millions who think that my writing is good or bad. Blogging, to me, is a ministry.
Consequently, these past few months required my silence and meditation as God picked up the broken pieces of my heart and life. I must admit that I wasn’t ‘feeding’ from Him. I couldn’t share what was not within me at that time because I felt empty. I knew and still know that God wants all of me, and these past few months revealed just how much deeper I needed to go in Him. I wish I could say that I am the epitome of perfection, but I am bold enough to admit that I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I just know God’s got me! I came to know and understand how trials can really knock me down, nonetheless, all these situations pointed out my immaturity in the Word and how I couldn’t waste any more time running away from God.
I needed to be resilient, always looking at the positive side of every situation. I shared all this not because I owed anyone an explanation, but because I endeavor to be so real and practical here. I have been meditating on James 1:2-3 which says,
‘Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow’.
It was such a great revelation for me to realize that every single trial and temptation was a chance for my endurance to grow. I think I always knew it, but it is so relevant for me now. In this time, being vulnerable to the right people has not made me fearful, but has helped me grow and be better. I am sure you get the whole point now. Growth was necessary and I had to take a step back to allow the process to take place. I am ecstatic about the fact that I am an imperfect person, qualified and made perfect through Christ. I am back in, stronger and better than ever before. My pastor always reminds me that I owe the world an encounter and love experience with God, I am taking my stand here once again. There’s more to say, but this is sufficient for this moment.
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This is beautiful Sarah ☺
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post. It really means a lot
Amen Sarah I did peek through your website several times to be inspired but couldn’t help notice you had indeed taken a break. I prayed for you.! May God continue the good work he begun in you. Thank you for your realness. Blessings
Yes I had, but I am back now. Thank you for always being supportive Alex!
Awesome and welcome back! I can’t wait for what’s coming.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read dear. It means a lot!
Wow Its so amazing to see you Back and All Psyked up for the Best Days ahead. Thats Hope And i am so glad that you allowed God to refine you through His Word & Pick up the broken pieces of your Heart. That process will for sure be worth it & pay off big time.
Very excited to see Your life Picture when all the pieces of the puzzle fall into right places. Lots of Love
Thank you so much for reading and for your very kind words. God is indeed very loving and always close. Lots of love to you too.
Wow! Amazing piece. Glad to see you back and whole!
I am always humbled when you take the time to read my blogs and even comment. Thank you so much. This means so much to me.
Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much for reading Hannah. Stay blessed.
How didn’t I get this sooner??? But I’m glad I did now…. It’s funny how I’ve been meditating on that verse you had during your season… It is so real for me but at the same time mysterious. KJVs translation of patience having Its perfect work in verse 4, is getting me to trust in God so much and trust in His finished work before I even see it. In summary hehe, thank you for sharing this..i am encouraged and strengthened to know that God always remains Faithful even when we are not. ❤
Thank you so much for being so awesome and speaking your heart into your comment. I am just so excited. God bless you so much dearie.