Allow me to clarify some things, at least from my own opinion and understanding. In Kenya, the term ‘slay queen’ has experienced a myriad of definitions which get more derogatory as the days go by. The term ‘slay queen’ initially meant an independent woman. One who is bold, fearless, classy, extremely beautiful and never disappoints when they dress up. It was an innocent as this, something that a woman could take pride in. But the metamorphosis the phrase has experienced forms the foundation of this particular discussion. In Kenya, the word slay queen is associated with an extremely beautiful woman, who is generally considered lazy and unwilling to work hard to achieve their own dreams thus settling for a sponsor or sugar daddy. I am talking about the kind of woman who is looking for a ‘quick fix’ to prosperity and is willing to compromise their values and dignity for material gain.

I see it every day! Very young beautiful women walking around holding hands with very old men; most of whom are foreigners. The worst part is the fact that the numbers keep growing and the society accepts this behavior even more. The growth of social media has come with both positive and negative effects which have greatly affected our habits and culture as well. The life portrayed on social media by different ‘influencers’ and socialites does not necessarily represent their real-life situations. Instagram is full of socialites parading their wealth and private body parts on their social media pages creating some kind of illusion of the ‘benefits’ that come with this lifestyle. A young woman’s mind is subconsciously affected, causing them to emulate what they internalize. I need to get a little bit more graphic with this one. Our generation is experiencing an interesting twist in how pictures are taken and even posted on social media. It is alarming the rate at which a young girl’s social media page is full of pictures of their waists, rear ends, and thighs; all the areas that are meant to be covered up!

One may argue that most slay queens will ‘work their way up’ to a life they consider much better or much more prosperous. That it is just like any other hustle, right? The paradox in all this is the fact that this particular ‘rise’ is actually a fall. A rise to quick material gain and possibly fame, but a fall from values, innocence and spiritual wholeness! Is this really worth the cost?

I must admit that we, young women, have failed ourselves! Most of the problems we experience in life emanate from the fact that we neither know nor recognize our identity. This cuts across all matters concerning women in the society. Issues dealing with gender equality, abusive relationships, marriages, feminism and their like only arise when women do not understand their own identity and value in life. We fail to recognize our purposes and roles in society. We do not even understand our place in God’s heart. I agree that the world has not made it easy for women in the past. But times have changed, and things are much different. Women are natural lovers, nurturers, and caregivers. The delicate nature in which God physically and emotionally designed the woman is what the society uses to refer to the woman as the ‘weaker sex’. It is in this ‘weakness’ that God has elevated the woman. It is because of this delicate nature that God has created the woman to effortlessly yield to the love of God, to worship with no shame, while being completely oblivious to their own surroundings.

I love scripture, so relevant for this!

2 corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I’d rather wallow in this weakness so that God can just move with great power in my life! All women need to realize this. Weakness creates room for God’s power to work in us, which makes us realize our place and identity in God. Once a woman realizes her identity, she is unstoppable! Strong in her own right. Made perfect through weakness and ready to take on the world that put her down. She will not have to bear the violent kicks and blows to her face because of a cowardly partner. She will never have to sell her body to get a few coins to push her through life. She will never be desperate for the love and affection of a man who openly rejects her. She will never have to look for an older man or any man for that matter to fulfill her material needs. She knows who her real father is. She knows who her real source and lover is. She is strong, powerful and beautiful. Just how God wants her to be!

It is time to wake up ladies! Our identity is in Christ.



Photo credits

Photographer: Scott Gideons

Studio: Metz Photolab – Two Rivers Mall



With love,



  1. I looove soo true lack of correct identity leads to desperation.

    Am glad you wrote on this was thinking about all slay queen conversations in our nation to the point that some ladies think if you don’t conform to the term”slay queen “you “backward”

  2. Nice one Mumbua ,that is very insightful to our society,give the same to others to know how they are valuable assets and stop easy way of its accessibility,should be hidden kept for your lover as ordained by God

  3. Wow! Identity… Honestly Mumbua this is all so true and you can never allow anyone to treat you any less than God does…He is Love and everything done or spoken should be expressed through Love, the Love of Christ. If you have revelation of this Love which surpasses knowledge, you wouldn’t even see yourself any less than God sees us. True identity is in Christ. I also love how you brought out the weakness..women being weaker vessels..that’s a beautiful revelation. God bless you woman of God and the work of your hands!

  4. “Once a woman realizes her identity, she is unstoppable! Strong in her own right. Made perfect through weakness and ready to take on the world that put her down.”
    Wow! Thank you Mumbua for this insight. May God increase you and entrust you with more mysteries.

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